ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder)

Some studies suggest that twice as many marriages touched by ADHD end in divorce. You might be surprised by that- the common understanding of ADHD is that it’s mainly diagnosed in energetic grade school boys. In fact, many very intelligent adults aren’t diagnosed because their resourcefulness has helped them learn how to cope, but they are barely hanging on by a thread. And this precariousness shows up most clearly in their marriage. Here are some signs your partner might have ADHD (and why you might feel perpetually annoyed at them):

They leave their stuff everywhere.
They become so engrossed in something that they lose track of time, sometimes for hours, and don’t hear you when you call their name.
They forget to call.
You feel like when you are out of their sight you are out of their mind completely.
It seems like they have trouble attending to you at all when they’re attending to their own needs.
They forget where their keys are.
They have trouble with ‘adulting’ (showering regularly, making dinner, doing dishes, etc.)
You often feel more like their parent than their partner.
They’re sensitive to criticism that these behaviors upset you.

The list goes on and on. Couples touched by ADHD often need an assessment, couples counseling and sometimes individual therapy. You can get through this together- know you are not alone in this struggle and we can help you turn around these trends.